F*CK U FTD

I feel as though I need to write about the person my mother was, although she is still my mom and will forever be my mom she is quite different now.

My mom is the most inspiring woman I have ever known. Yes, yes I know she is in fact my mom so technically that means I have to love her, but if you ever knew or met my mom you loved her instantly. She had and still has the biggest heart out of anyone. There wasn’t a thing she wouldn’t do for somebody else and anything she did was selfless. She has always loved my brother and I so unconditionally and to this day the one thing she always says over and over is I love you.

She really is my bestfriend and I think the hardest thing to grasp is that I am losing my bestfriend, not like a friendship breakup but genuinely losing my forever bestfriend. See the word I used, forever. Nothing good can last forever to be completely honest but forever was supposed to be a lot longer than what I am left with.

She was a light inside of any room she walked into, just full of sunshine and happiness. I can’t even fully explain just how beautiful she was and still is but I don’t think anything can compare.

People say I look like her and to me that is the biggest compliment. There’s a line in a song called How do I say Goodbye – Dean Lewis that has really allowed me to feel my emotions during this time and it goes, “So how do I say goodbye, to someone who’s been with me for my whole damn life? You gave me my name and the color of your eyes, I see your face when I look in mine. So how do I say goodbye?” I feel as though it really resonates with how I feel and puts some of it into words.

Confidence, beauty, strength, love, are only some of the words I can begin to associate with my mom but I will never let anyone forget about the most genuine soul a human could have in my mother.

Smile as bright as you can everyday because life is short, too short to spend it unhappy.